Thursday, June 1, 2017

A Charmed Life

I have been told by more than one person, on more than one occasion, that I lead a "charmed" life.  I think it was meant as a compliment, although I am not positive.  It made me really think about my life.  I would not necessarily think I lead a charmed life.  First off I think that phrase leads a person to believe that her life is not in her own hands.  Like my life has turned out the way it has by chance, or because I had some magical upbringing.  I assure you, I did not.  I grew up poor, as so many of us did.  My parents often times struggled to make ends meet, although they did not discuss financial matters with my brothers and I.  But even so, as kids, we picked up on those things.

I also lost both of my parents, tragically, when I was younger.  I had just turned 29, and my oldest son was not quite a year old when my mother died in a car accident, and I was 30 when my father died by suicide.  I am 50 now, and have no parents or grandparents.  I have navigated parenting without my mother to call for advice or a shoulder to cry on.  Not sure it sounds like a charmed life.

My personality, however, is one to pick up and keep moving forward.  So even though I have had tragedies in my life, I have always worked though those and found the joy in my today.  I can hold grief for what I have lost, and joy in what I have, in my heart at the same time.  I choose not to live in fear and grief, although I have my moments.

I really believe that we make our own choices in life.  I am not one to live with regret, or in a place of martyrdom.  I take my own joy and happiness in my own hands, it isn't up to someone else to make me happy or ensure that today is a joy-filled day.  I do that myself by the choices I make.  I outline my future, I choose how to respond to events, I choose what I want today, I make things happen in my life, I choose my relationships. Not a mythical being, or magic, or fate or chance.

I think relationships are huge. Even as an introvert, the people I choose to have in my life, add to my life, they are people that inspire me, that I enjoy being around.  If a relationship is one sided, shouldn't we be asking ourselves why we continue in that environment.  Not all my friends are alike, they don't think the same, have the same hobbies and passions, they have such differing views.  But they all add to my life, and the joy of my life.  Some are friends that I have had for YEARS, and some are newer friendships.  I just don't hang onto friendships that are draining, or one sided, or feel like they are bringing me down, sucking my energy.  That doesn't serve me well, and it doesn't serve my family well.

So I work hard to have a life I enjoy, that stays on target with my deeper ideals.  I make a point of staying in touch with friends, and seeking out new opportunities for growth and new friendships.  I want to live a joy filled life.  I plan for tomorrow and live in today.  So it might look like I have a charmed life.  But I can tell you that I don't, there is no magic involved.  I work for the life I have, and choose how to respond to situations.

Anyone can live a life like that.  It won't look like my life, it will look like your life.  Take some time to think about what you want in your life that you don't have now.  There are so many books out there to help you see that life, and work out a plan to make things happen.   There is no fate.  Live your joy-filled life.  Live the life that makes you happy and makes other people think YOU live a "charmed" life.

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