Wednesday, August 31, 2016

NOT "getting rid of my stuff"

Sorry people but I just read a "Balanced Life" post and must call bullsh&t on this post.  The title is How Getting Rid of My Stuff Saved My Motherhood.  And I have no problem with purging (as many of you know) but in this post she specifically says "MY STUFF" in the title and yet the first thing she tackles is the play room.  NOT her stuff.  Her children's stuff.

I am not saying she was wrong or right in getting rid of her children's things without their permission or even any input at all.  (Of course I would never do that to my children and I would never want anyone to do that to me either).  But it is her right, as a parent, to parent the way she feels is best for her children.  So it is her decision and I would not think of taking that away from her.

But the title is very misleading.  She did say that this purging moved on to other areas of her home.  But the initial purge started with her children's things/toys NOT her things.

My personal opinion is and has always been, that when my child receives a gift, it is their property, not mine. And my boys did have trouble getting rid of things when they were younger.  But I never took anything away without their permission.  We did find creative storage ideas, and I did help them come up with plans for their things, some worked and some didn't.  But the decision was theirs.  I would NOT like it if I came home one day and Jackson, or the boys, had decided without my knowing, that half my things had to go, or even 1/4. I would be livid at another person deciding for me what is important to me, in my life.  So I treat the other members of this family equally.

I think I have mentioned this before, that Jackson is a bit of a hoarder.  But I would never consider tossing any of his things.  I made this mistake many years ago, before we even had children.  I was doing laundry one day and I just tossed a sweatshirt of his, it was torn around the neck and the sleeves were horrible shredded, it didn't fit and had stains all over.  I didn't think twice about it, he has so many clothes, this one really needed the trash.  Well he saw it in the trash and it turned out to be one of his favorites.  I hadn't tossed it because I thought he was hanging onto too many things.  I just tossed it because, in my eyes, it was trash.  I have never done anything like that since.  I would never want to make decisions for anyone in our household. So I really consider my actions. And I would hope we all would consider what it would feel like to have a basic decision, about what is important in our lives, taken away, before acting.

Just a thought.

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