Wednesday, March 9, 2016

When My Feelings Just Spill Out Of My Mouth

I love being with friends, sometimes it exhausts me and sometimes it energizes me.  Neither is good or bad, it just is what it is. I treasure all time with friends. We do some really cool and creative things, we sit and chat, we have tea and goodies.  We do whatever.  This past week we were talking about something that I have gone through before.  This was an experience of the other women there.  But the same situation has happened to me in the past with other people of course.  I know what it felt like to be "on the other end" of the situation/circumstances.

In those instances I wish I could just sit and keep quiet and support my friend.  But my feelings just won't let me.  Like playing devil's advocate, I feel this need to speak up, input my thoughts.  But I know, in that instance my friend just wanted support, wanted to be listened to.  And I didn't provide that for her.  That is something I need to work on.  It isn't that I didn't feel for her, and it just breaks my heart that she is going through this.  I wish more for her.  But I can feel the other side as well, because I have been the one on the other side before.

Not sure there is an answer for any of this, but for me, I know it is something I need to work on.  And of course, as any introvert does, I went over and over in my head, on the way home, everything I had said. And questioned what I said, how I said it, and if I should have said any of it.

The good thing is that I am not pushy, in that I will say my peace, and back off.  I don't feel a need to "be right" (if there is such a thing), I don't feel a need to change anyone, or any situation.  But speaking my peace is exhausting for me.  After a minute or two I then feel a need to say nothing for a while, like my brain is in recovery mode.

We did make these beautiful sun catchers/mobiles, not sure what to call it.  But I love it.  A friend had the idea, and has done this before, and brought the beads.  It hangs right beside my computer.  It just has such a nice whimsical quality.  Great addition to my space, and reminds me daily of that connection with that friend. LOVE IT!


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