Friday, September 4, 2015

"What Scares You the Most"

This is a cooperative blogging post and really it is an easy one for me.  Death has always been what scares me the most, and still is.  I have very few fears, one is the dentist, I not rational.  But Death is and always has been at the top.

I remember as a small child being afraid that my parents would die, and leave me.  I can recall my mom sitting with me while I tried to sleep, talking to me about how it would be such a long time before they died, and just rubbing my back to help me get to sleep.  I think this stems from the time I came home from school in Kindergarten and no one was home.  I was so scared, and just felt immediately abandoned.   Nothing like that had ever happened to me before.  After that I was always afraid they were going to leave me, and so my fear started.

Now rationally I know about death, I know there is no guarantee.  I have felt that horrible feeling when someone close to you passes.  I know how hard all of that is.  I know how hard it will be for my own children some day.  And I do live in the moment.  Enjoying everything I can, taking care of me, taking care of those I love.  Living my best life.  But I know life can be so short, and gone too soon.  So Death remains a fear, although I do challenge those feelings.  I have done "the Work".  Nothing eradicates it completely from my mind.  Maybe that is a good thing.  Maybe that fear is what keeps me living in the moment, grateful for everything and everyone I have in my life.  Keeps me taking good care of myself. Maybe that fear is beneficial in my life, and worthy of being fully embraced as a part of the whole.

If you want to read what scares my friend, Nancy, the most pop over to her blog, A Present Moment , and see.

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