Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Body Image and How a Sweater Changed It

I recently have taken a class in knitting a sweater, top down, creating your own pattern as you go.  The pattern is based on your own measurements and your gauge based on the yarn you choose and the size needles you decide.  My first sweater was lovely, a cardigan.  I used measurements from another sweater I really like.  The arms were a bit big though, so I am not completely satisfied with it.  The second sweater, I made a couple of changes, turned out huge, it was a pull over, I added just an extra inch in the torso to accommodate another layer of clothing, this was supposed to be more of a winter sweater.  I HATE IT!  It is huge on me, so BIG...everywhere.  But looking at it, not in the mirror, it is how I pictured it, and doesn't "look" big until I try it on.

This third sweater, and many of you have already seen the photo, is just perfect.  I decided to ACTUALLY take my own measurements, not measurements of an article of clothing I wear, but my actual body.  (LOL, I know, you would think that would be a given)  And I am in LOVE with this sweater.  It fits me perfectly.  I love the fit, the colors the design.  It is light weight and perfect for spring.

I was so amazed at how my own body image is so distorted from my actual body.  I think it comes from growing up being told I am fat.  School kids calling me fat. Having extended family tell me it is in my genes, I am destined to be fat. I think after a while I really started to believe that is who I was and somehow it is how I am meant to be. Like there is nothing *I* can do to change it.  So even though I am changing things, I still don't see myself as changed.  I still see that image that was so pounded into my head. Looking at school age pictures of myself, I can see now, that I was not *fat* then.  But as a child you see yourself so differently, I saw myself through the eyes of my family and friends.  Now I get to see myself as I really am.  The fabulous person that is me.  I get to change that image I have in my head.  I get to ignore all the *critics*.  And I get to make so many wonderful sweaters that look and feel amazing and FIT me!

So much to learn from a simple sweater!

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