This is from a daily journaling prompt, but I thought was worth a blog post. This is something I have struggled with over the years, but am finally just letting things roll. As a child I was creative, and I think that is because my mother was creative, so I followed along with the things she was creating/doing/having fun with. And then, I think I have mentioned this before, somewhere along the line, creativity was almost discouraged, although not spoken, just a feeling that was passed along. School became so important, figuring out what you "wanted to be". And then all the focus was pushed in that direction, creativity became a hobby, and not something to take any part of center stage, studying and working was more important.
So looking back I think the first memory I have of really creating on my own was when my mother went on a trip with her friends. I mean of course in elementary school we did arts and crafts but that was more "copy what I am doing" sorts of things. And is probably why it took me so long to break away from that and let my own mind take over. But the first creative thing I did without following anyone else, was the rock garden that was on a steep hill on the side of our house. I had always thought there had been a nice rock garden there at some point in the past, as there were remnants of plants, buried in weeds, and some really nice stones and boulders that appeared to have been purposefully placed.
While my mother was away for a week I just stayed outside much of the time and took time to weed, and reconnect with nature, watching the birds and butterflies. I weeded and replanted plants, added a few new ones, and watched as that rock garden came back to life. It was so beautiful, and felt so good to be the person with the "ideas" in my head of what I wanted it to look like. That felt nice, relaxing, a "good" feeling of exhaustion at the end of the day. And though most people wouldn't consider gardening creative, I did, and it made me smile.