I love the stuff, all types of cheese. Love cow milk cheese, goat milk cheese, sheep milk cheese!! And yet, cheese does not love me. Those of you that know me well, know of my struggle with dairy, all dairy. And I have found some nice alternatives to some dairy products. But not cheese! A few months ago I had a couple of scary incidents when I used dairy, and one was even in the form of goat milk lotion. So I have been so careful to NOT have any dairy since then....none at all.
Well.....last night I was feeling good. I had not had any allergy types of reactions in a couple of months, was feeling great. And in the past I have been able to have just a tiny bit of dairy without any incident. The boys wanted guacamole and cheese dip with tortilla chips while watching a movie. So we made guacamole and cheese dip, and I decided to try some. I mean a little won't hurt. I was up all night sick. Horribly sick. I knew that was a possibility and I also knew that I could have a worse reaction, as I have had worse reactions in the past.
Why do I continue to test those waters? What can't I just leave it alone? I KNOW I need to just leave dairy out of my diet completely....I KNOW THIS! I know the outcome is not worth the dairy. But in the moment that goes out of my mind. I need to figure out why it is so hard to stay away, and why I am willing to risk my health for a stupid piece of cheese. I also need to figure out a great dip alternative. So while the rest of my family is enjoying the cheese dip, I have something. Or create something so much better, that none of them want the cheese dip, so it is not around to tempt me.
I have tried so many gluten free vegan dips, and none have been really that wonderful.
Those of you out there that struggle with something similar, let me know how you do it. How you stay away from something you enjoy, resist that temptation.
For now I am OK, I am back on the dairy free bandwagon, and still struggling with this issue. (sigh)