Thursday, November 18, 2010

Socialization is Overrated

A friend of mine said this recently...."Socialization is Overrated". And I heartily agree. I know I have been absent from the blogging community lately. I have so much to blog about. But I have been in a funk as of late. Just don't want to be social, can't seem to do it. I have always been an introvert but have really enjoyed friendships. Even though it is hard for me to develop friendships, when I do, I treasure them. For some this is hard to believe ;-)

A few weeks ago I went to a party at a friends house, people I knew, friends. But when I walked in I felt overwhelmed, even though there were only I think 5 families there when we arrived. I couldn't make a connection, couldn't jump in on conversations. It was a paralyzing feeling for me, but my boys were so excited about the party so I struggled through it. A couple of my closer friends could see something was up, and it does show me how strong my friendships are when my friends notice a change in me. But I couldn't explain my feelings, I couldn't even talk about it without wanting to cry and just needing to get out. I did have to go for a couple of walks during the party. I know they are trying to help and I don't know exactly what helps. It is just a feeling of wanting to cocoon myself in the house and not go out, not feeling social, not wanting to be around other people.

So in going through this I thought a lot about my friend who is staying more and more at home. Why, in this society, do we put such importance on socialization? If children, or even adults, do not want to be social, should we be forcing them? Can you lead a fulfilling, joyful life with only minimal social interactions? I really think you can. I do need social interactions, and value friendships, but not everyone does. For me this feeling lasts a week or two and I try to honor that feeling and get the "down" time I need.

Is there something "wrong" with not wanting to be a social being? Shouldn't we all be honoring our internal voice, and living a life that brings us joy? The mom of my friend (also a friend) is really handling her son's need for isolation with such grace. Allowing him the space to be alone, without feeling hurt by his needs. She knows that it will all work out as it is supposed to be, and that he knows what he needs better than anyone else.

So today I am grateful that I can hear and honor what my body needs. Grateful for friends, friends that show me a different way to be, friends that care.

I do have things to blog about and will do that soon, as I come out of my cocoon with renewed energy.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Pam, this is a lovely post. I know exactly what you mean. I actually get migraines when I'm in a large group for too long, even if I know everyone and generally enjoy their company. One thing that I've learned from observing my children is that we all have different needs (tolerances)in this area. And, life runs more smoothly when we respect those needs.