Sunday, September 27, 2009

Taos

I watched a nice little movie yesterday, Taos. It was a "crossroads" type of movie, but set in the southwest, one of my favorite places. Helps me think about my life, and am I doing exactly what I love, and yes is the answer. But I also think back at my parents, my dad quit his factory job and we were scraping by at one point, barely, until he reestablished himself as a fisherman. Which is what he loved. Not much money in it, my mother eventually went back to work and it was basically pay check to pay check, but he was doing what he loved, he loved being outside, he loved working for himself. And he did leave a "secure" job and took the risk, to be happy.

If you haven't seen the movie, again it is Taos. I received it as one of the movies from the Spiritual Cinema Circle, which I thoroughly enjoy. With the Spiritual Cinema Circle, I receive monthly movies, to keep, that are generally not top run, movie theater movies, but low budget, or more thought provoking movies, usually with no "big names". Also worth the investment.

Enjoy

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Roaring Fork Falls Hike

What a glorious day for a hike. With so much rain lately, I NEEDED to get out of the house and just be out in the green grass. It didn't matter to me if it was raining or not at this point. I like the rain, of course, didn't want to be hiking in rain soaked clothes and wet shoes, and I knew the boys wouldn't want that either. But a little bit of cabin fever was setting in and so we scheduled hiking day "rain or shine". I didn't really know who would show up but we were going anyway. The boys and I made a trip to the sports store for some rain gear...we were going to be "fashionable AND dry"...LOL.

But no need, the rain stopped and the sun came out just for our hike, how beautiful. Not too cold and not too hot just perfect. A nice easy hike to a magnificent waterfall, Roaring Fork Falls Hike. With all the rain the waterfall was just racing down the mountain. We had a good sized group of some of my favorite people, all ready to hike, and play and have fun together. I loved watching kids playing in the water, jumping from rock to rock, chatting with friends and taking pictures. The boys enjoyed the day, I enjoyed the day. And now it is raining again, supposed to rain all weekend. But I feel refreshed, just the break I needed. I am so blessed to find this picturesque place to live, so many great hikes here in the Blue Ridge Mountains.

There is no better way to clear your head, forget everything else going on around you, and just be present in the moment, enjoying life and getting in touch with nature, than a nice hike and a breathtaking waterfall. Looking forward to next month.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Pain and Parenting

OK so probably not the best title for this post but all I could come up with. At the beginning of this week my oldest son, Dallen, had an orthodontist appointment. He was getting a devise in his mouth to bring out his bottom jaw a little. He and I were told ahead of time that his teeth, jaw would be sore for about a week after this device was in.

So I sat there for about an hour and a half while they worked on Dallen, afterward the orthodontist wanted to talk to both of us just for a minute. He showed me on a demo model exactly what the device looked like, how it worked, showed Dallen any details on how to clean it. He was very nice. Then he again reiterated that his mouth would be sore for about a week, then spoke to me saying: "so any complaints of pain he has are sincere." OK so what does that mean.

I didn't know exactly what he meant by that so I didn't really say anything and we left. But I have been thinking about it ever since. I took a few minutes to look up the word sincere at Dictionary.com. Wanted to be sure I was using it correctly, maybe all these years I really didn't know the acceptable definition. I found this:

1.free of deceit, hypocrisy, or falseness; earnest: a sincere apology.
2.genuine; real: a sincere effort to improve; a sincere friend.
3.pure; unmixed; unadulterated.
4.Obsolete. sound; unimpaired.

OK so, yes, I have been using it correctly. Was the orthodontist really saying that any pain Dallen is having is "not false" or it is "earnest", really? Why would I think otherwise? I have never heard the word used with regard to pain before. Isn't pain a really subjective sensation? How is one person to judge if complaints of pain are sincere or not?

My mother was a very authoritarian parent, very much in control of her children. She often used punishments as her means of behavior modification. But she never questions my pain, not that I remember anyway. Tooth pain, ear pain, stomach pain, headache etc. never questioned that it was real or "free of deceit". How would you tell someone that their pain was not "genuine"? I can't even relate to this. And why would a child be less than truthful about pain? I guess I have really thought that children were less than truthful because of fear of being punished (to put it simply). So if there is some kind of fear attached, would a child be punished for having pain? I guess I could see it if the child was in fear of something else, unrelated to pain, and used the fib about pain to get out of that particular punishment. hmmmm I might have done that as a child had I thought of it. ;-)

All this had never crossed my mind before. I have never, nor would I ever question my child if he told me he was in pain. We would just work to figure out what kind of pain and what we could do to help him feel better. Which we have been doing, since he has been in some pain this week.

Visits to the orthodontist always give me lots to think about. Like the time Dallen's front braces popped off a few hours after he had them put on. He was sitting at his computer and one by one, four of them popped off. He looked at me and said "mom I think one of my braces came off." I replied "nope, four came off." So the next day we were back at the orthodontist's office and the assistant asked me if "he pulled them off". What? What was she asking me? I just replied "no, why would he, he is the one that decided it was time for braces, and he is ready for this." I mean we have talked about braces for a while and I just told Dallen when/if he was ready for braces to let me know and we would look at our options, so this year he said he was ready and wanted to move forward. So, do parents have braces put on children who don't want them? I guess they must or she wouldn't have asked that question. Right?

I forget sometimes what more traditional parenting looks like. Maybe that is a good thing.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

My Boys are WONDERFUL

You know I think now and again about what my boys will be like when they are older, will they be parents, will they find a partner they love as much as I love their dad, where will their passions take them, that sort of thing.

Tonight I was watching a show on National Geographic about transgender children, young children. And they spot lighted a young boy, born a boy with the genitals of a male. As this boy aged, he entered school as a boy but would dress up as a girl at home, would tell his parents he was not a boy he was a girl, OK there was a lot more to the show, and I am sure you can find the National Geographic channel and see or read about it.

But I was just finding it interesting. The parents, when the child was still young, decided that she should be able to decide for herself what her gender was. And if she was this persistent that she was not a boy, maybe they should listen to her. So they bought her the clothes she wanted, let her grow her hair etc. The show went on to discuss possibilities for this girl's future, but that isn't what I wanted to share. I thought it was so AMAZING that this family totally went against society, even facing ridicule and threats, to allow their daughter to express herself as she wanted, to be herself. How thoughtful and loving that was.

My youngest son walked into the room and asked what I was watching, so I basically said, this is talking about this little girl, who has male genitals but does not feel inside like she is a boy, she feels like she is a girl. He asked a couple of questions, and I said something about other adults picking on her. He replied "why would they do that, that is mean, they should just let her be what she wants to be." HOW amazing is that. He is such a caring and compassionate child. And he does not have the societal bias that so many children do. He is 12 and I can think of a handful of 12 year olds that would be right there thinking that this was horrible, and she should just be a boy after all she is made like a boy. But not my son, he couldn't imagine why anyone would want to try to make her be something she does not feel like she is. It was so not a big deal to him, she should be what she wants, she should be able to determine for herself. AHHHHH self-determination. Some get it, so many do not.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Busy

Have been too busy to even blog these days. I don't like that feeling. I like having time to enjoy everything around me. I have been thinking about blogging, have some things I want to get down, and mull over. I have things I really enjoy but I also value down time, and time to just process everything going on in my life, appreciate the joy and life I have in front of me. I think in the not so distant future I need to re-evaluate the things I do, try to decide what is more important and not try to fit everything in, making a busy schedule that leaves no time for reflection and space.

I need to find people equally passionate about the things that are important to me, see if I can share the passion and cut the work in 1/2. That is one possibility. I can and do say no. If it is something that I don't enjoy, that does not add to my life. I guess I just have so many interests right now. Maybe because growing up I was not allowed to just follow my interests to their end. I had to choose, for lack of money, what interests I wanted to pursue and had to follow those that I chose, for years, there was no dropping something if I found that it did not hold my interest. Maybe that is why I am trying so many things now.

So many thoughts going around in my head, so many options, I need to meditate, relax, ponder and see what comes alive in me. Time will tell. One priority is to have time to blog....and blog I will.

Pondering this life
All my interests surround me
Submerged in the joy