Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Sitting

OK so yesterday I had so much work to do on the computer that my morning flew by. Before I knew it the boys were up and the day was off and running. So I didn't meditate yesterday. Once the boys are up the quiet is gone, and I find it so hard to meditate, to concentrate on anything, to find that 15 minutes and not think about the myriad of things that are going on with my family, that wonderful, exciting part of my life.

My thought was to jump right back on today, but again...computer work took too much time. I did meditate this morning, but it was sooo hard with the boys awake and the movement and conversations etc. I sat and tried, but found so many things to think about.

I went to the Tricycle forum site and that was just so disappointing for me, everyone there seems to be so far ahead in their meditative practices than I. And the discussions are way above my level of commitment. I feel very inadequate to take this on. All I know how to do is SIT. But isn't that what it is about? Isn't that where it starts? Can it grow from there? And maybe the wonderful things running through my mind are part of the process. Maybe that is where these things belong, maybe that time to let everything come and go is what is needed. We will see in the long run if it brings me any peace. Or just frustration. I am too new to it all.

I did find a reading list that might be helpful. And audio books seem to be my thing, I can multi-task with audio books. So I might try that. Maybe if I am further on this path I won't feel as inadequate.

1 comment:

Wenwe said...

So, you drop a pebble into still water and ripples form concentric rings reaching out and out. Then as time passes the rings settle and once again all is still.