Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentine's Day

OK I started out thinking about Love and my relationship with my husband because of the questions at the blog talkers site. Love that I feel for my husband. Can a person love "anyone" or is it someone specific? Is it really love or is it "connection". Is there something inside of each of us that grows with familiarity, connection, memories, life together? If so what about "love at first sight". Does it exist? Is it even possible with no familiarity? Or are we instantly attracted to people who have that familiarity? I have heard from people before that you marry someone like your "father" or "mother".

My husband....I felt an honest, deep attraction for him the moment I met him. I do believe in love at first sight, but what is it that keeps us together, loving, and living a life that is just for us? We do have basic philosophies of life, parenting and living that bring us closer together in some common goals. We do have communication skills that get better each and every day. Is it the work we have put into fostering these commonalities, that helps our love and life together grow in a positive, forward direction? We have worked hard at our relationship, building it, making it stronger. I know it isn't up to me to bring happiness to my husbands life, but in all honesty I want to bring happiness and joy and wonder to his life. He does not require that of me. I give that freely, willingly, joyfully. Do I sacrifice or martyr myself in bringing joy to his life? No, not even a tiny bit. I want to see him happy, and being part of that only enriches my life, and allows him the space and to be exactly who he is, and to see how blessed we are as a couple, a family, a life. In turn, I truly believe he wants the same for me, to be truly who I am in the moment, and live joyfully, being part of that which makes us whole.

Other relationships have been part of my past. Have they felt the same? No. What makes this different? I have no answer for that. My theory is that it does have to do with a certain level of maturity on my part, knowing myself, knowing my wants and needs prior to entering into a relationship. The Universe is glorious, it will bring me exactly what I need. I believe all of my past has made me who I am today, and has brought me to a point where I can meet, feel, accept and give love to this wonderful person, right here and right now. Without all of my past experiences, in this life and beyond this life, I would not be who I am, I would not be prepared and would not be at the point I am now. My gratitude to The Creator.

I feel extremely blessed to have met my husband at a point when I was ready for that relationship. I feel working on living consensually with each other and with our children brings us closer together as a couple each and every day. This week has been a busy one in our lives, and I have not had the time to "shop" for a Valentine's gift, nor did I want to. I want this day to be from my heart, an expression of my love. So this...this is my gift to my husband. Happy Valentine's Day Jackson.

1 comment:

dharmamama said...

Pam, that was very beautiful. I admire the connection you & Jackson share. Happy Valentine's Day to you both!