Sunday, October 28, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Tonight we drove up to the Northern part of the Big Island for supper. Delicious and a very cool drive along the coast. On the return trip we decided to take the mountain road. It was dark but still very cool as we could see the coast to the west of us, down the mountain. Not really the coast but we could see all the lights along the coast. It was drizzling rain out and the moon was to the east of us. Just so full (almost) and beautiful. The moon was spectacular tonight, with the little bit of cloud cover the moon had a rainbow colored halo surrounding it. So wonderful to see, and mesmerizing. I watched the moon for a bit as Jackson drove and the boys watched Shark Tales in the back seat. Then to the west I saw a rainbow. YES, a rainbow at night. I have never seen one before. It was so awesome. I mean truly awesome, not awesome like I remember using the term awesome as a teen (then everything was awesome). The moon was just that bright, so bright that with the little bit of misty rain outside it was bright enough to make a rainbow appear. Something I thought could only be done in the presence of the sun.
No pictures, it was just too dark and drizzly out to get any. So you will have to picture it in your mind. Picture the most amazing rainbow you have ever seen, not put it in the dark, with a bright moon. That's it, that's the picture. Now treasure it always, as will I.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Saturday, October 20, 2007
It was an older female flight attendant. She asked Phil what he wanted to drink, he asked what juices they had, she told him and he said OK Orange Juice. She got a glass of it for him then said "are you going to say please" in this sick high pitched voice. He didn't even hear her but I did. He was looking at the movie that was playing. She said again "no please" I was not going to interrupt what Phil was doing so he could say "please" to her. And my feeling is that if it was not a sincere "please" what good would it have been anyway. But that is another soap box. What I wanted to say was "Oh wow, I didn't see you make any of the other passengers say please". But I didn't, I was just too tired at this point (we had been up since 4 am that morning flying on different planes for about 10 hours) and figured she would give up. Then she looked at me and said "is she going to say please" and I just shrugged. I didn't feel Phil needed to be privy to this conversation and that she would give up eventually. So then she said "OK I will just give this juice to her mommy". Come on are we 2 years old. Phil was still looking at the screen and had no idea she was even talking, I mean she was standing over him so he would have to actually look straight up to see her. So anyway I took the juice and gave it to Phil. He looked at me and smiled with his head phones on, LOL. I smiled back. She then looked at me and said "what does mommy want". I felt like saying "an adult flight attendant". I just said "water", no please or thank you, and no demand that I do so from her. LOL.
But the resort is fabulous, we are having a great time for our first day, so relaxing. And here are a couple of pictures of our tired boys. (well I see that blogger photo uploading is down at the moment so I will get the photos up as soon as I can)
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
First start out layering 3-4 thin layers of wool, one on top of another. If you can see in the pictures I used two different colors to try to show you that I layered them with the fibers going in opposite directions. KWIM. So I lay out one thin layer then turn the square once then lay out another layer, then turn the square once etc. In this picture I have the bottom layer in orange, vertical in the picture. Then I have a second layer of orange, horizontal, then a layer of blue, vertical.
When it is all done I just dump it out into my hand, wring out the water and lay it on a towel to dry. Simple, quick and anyone can do it. I bought my wool from Outback Fibers but there are probably lots of companies that sell wool you can use.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
OK I heard it again a week or so ago, “you are enabling your kids”. But let me back up just a bit. It has happened in the past and has always been associated with me doing something for my children. For example, if I know we are going someplace that might be chilly, I will ask the boys if they want a coat. If they say no, and we have the room, I will go ahead and grab coats anyway, “just in case.” I will do it with snacks if I think we might get hungry or extra cloths if I think we might get wet etc. And a few times I have heard other parents comment that they believe I am enabling my children. Actually I am being nice; they usually DO NOT say they “believe” I am enabling my children, that is the nice thing I would like to hear. Usually they say “you ARE enabling your children.”
On a yahoo e mail list once I asked for explanation. Something I don’t usually do in person because we are usually doing something cool, and I don’t want to interrupt the moment to become involved in some philosophical discussion about parenting. But on a list I will. There were a few parents to enter the discussion but the feeling I got from those few parents is that they feel that if I do things “for my children” then my children will never do things for themselves. Hmmmm. Something to ponder.
It came up again the other day so I really started thinking about my personal philosophy on the subject of enabling. First of all I wanted a definition so I wouldn’t be making assumptions. So here we go:
Encarta online dictionary says:
en·a·ble [ in áyb'l, en áyb'l ] (past and past participle en·a·bled, present participle en·a·bling, 3rd person present singular en·a·bles)
provide somebody with means: to provide somebody with the resources, authority, or opportunity to do something
make something possible: to make something possible or feasible
OK so my thinking is that the parent’s who were commenting that I am enabling my children, like it was some sort of bad thing, that would lead to them being incapable of caring for themselves as they grow, didn’t know the real definition of the word enable. But they were correct I do enable my children, and I am so proud of that fact.
I provide them with resources, authority, and opportunity to do things. I let my boys have the authority over their own lives so that is out of my hands anyway. But YES, and I will yell it loudly, Y-E-S, I provide them with resources and opportunity to do “something”, lots of things. They are free children, free to follow their interests and passions, why would I NOT support that to the best of my ability. I also encourage them to be part of that process as well, so they help brainstorm about resources and opportunities. We work together as a team. They also enable ME! What an idea, how cool is that. They love to see me do “something”. If it is something I am interested in, they are right there to help me brainstorm about resources and opportunities for me to follow those interests and see where it takes me. Again, a TEAM, working together so that we are all joyfully participating in things that add spark to our lives, together or individually. We “enable” each other. What an empowering system we have created in our family.
Definition #2, to make something possible. I think that goes right along with definition #1. To provide someone with resources, authority or opportunity we are making it possible for them. We are not just sitting back and wondering what will happen, we are actively making it possible for each other to live our best lives. We are there to brainstorm and help each other with resources and opportunities to make it happen.
Will they lack the ability to care for themselves as they grow? I highly doubt it. If the past is any indication of the future, they will continue to grow and learn and be extremely capable of caring for themselves. We have just not see the “doubters” theories pan out in our family. Exactly the opposite is true. Not only do they learn to care for themselves as they grow in this loving, nurturing, caring environment, but they learn to care for and about others. As they grow they are just as likely to do some of those same things for me, bring along a coat or a snack. I see it every day.
Back to those few parents in my life who believe I am harming my children in some way by choosing to enable them. I know in their theory somewhere is the idea of natural consequences. That by bringing along a jacket for my son, he will not experience the natural consequence of being cold, and will not learn that he needs to bring a coat.
I figure I am a natural consequence in my children’s lives as well, a mother who loves them deeply, and wants them to be happy. So for me to leave home without those extra things, knowing we might need them, but wanting to teach my boys a “lesson”, would not be a natural consequence. Not even close to a natural consequence.
My boys see a loving mother who wants the best for them. They would feel the chill of the autumn air and then the warmth of a jacket as I snuggle them in tight. They would feel how happy it makes them that someone cared enough about them to pack a few things, even though they didn’t think they would need it. And maybe next time they will be packing something for me.
So enabling, YES, I take credit for that, I am an ENABLER! I am an enabler and a natural consequence.
We enable each other to feel joy
We enable each other to live our best lives
We enable each other to follow our interests
We enable each other to experience this world in our own time and in our own way.
How cool is that to be an enabler!!
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Monday, October 1, 2007
I have piles of laundry, and food to put away but it was worth it. And it is good to be back home, sleeping in my own bed. Ahhhh home.