Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Daily Groove and Breastfeeding

Today's Daily Groove was just the right thing for me to read this morning. Yesterday I had been reading an article on the ABC news web site about extended breastfeeding, and also reading some of the comments. There are so many people who feel breastfeeding beyond the age of one year is just WRONG. I was amazed. And really couldn't put words to the uneasy feeling I was experiencing at the time. All I could think of was "why do so many people think it is so terrible?" Then I read this little clip of the Daily Groove today: "Living in an anti-pleasure culture -- where sacrifice and toil are glorified while pleasure-seeking is disdained -- we've been conditioned to *tolerate*unpleasant states like boredom and confinement."

That is it, hit the nail on the head. So many people commented that the "child needs to learn to self-soothe." Why? Why do we tolerate unpleasant states. Why do we think a child should learn to self-soothe when I am right there to help them, and would do anything in my power to help soothe? Why has this society been so conditioned to think that this is a lesson we need to learn at the age of one? Why tolerate the unpleasant state when we can change it? Hopefully my boys are learning differently. I would love for them to learn that we don't have to tolerate unpleasant states, we can make the choice for change. And I hope I am an example of that for them.

Today's Daily Groove

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noellewww.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: "I Didn't Sign Up For This!" ::

Living in an anti-pleasure culture -- where sacrificeand toil are glorified while pleasure-seeking isdisdained -- we've been conditioned to *tolerate*unpleasant states like boredom and confinement.

But such states feel bad for a reason: they suck! :-)

So if you find a particular aspect of parentingboring or confining, don't tolerate it! Instigatea personal revolution and proclaim...

"I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS!"

You didn't intend to *suffer* through parenthood.You wanted to bring more joy into the world.Love and joy: THAT'S what you signed up for!

With that awareness, you can set a new standard.Raise the bar. Don't settle for tolerableunpleasantness. If you can't see a more pleasingway to proceed, just be still, remember your trueintentions, and be open to inspiration.

This is not about having zero tolerance for yourchild. It's not about your child at all! It's aboutlistening to *your* Inner Guidance and *honoring* it.

When you honor your Guidance, it honors you *and*your child.

http://dailygroove.net/didnt-sign-up-for-this
See also:http://dailygroove.net/acceptance-vs-tolerance
Feel free to forward this message to your friends!(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)Copyright (c) 2007 by Scott NoelleToday's Daily Groove message was originallypresented on June 6, 2006.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Music and Life - Alan Watts

This is a great youtube video. I love it. Life is a song, love the thought of that.

The Full Moon and My Mom



Oh the full moon, what a great night. The boys are getting so much out of our full moon circles. Just us, our small family, but we are really enjoying this sacred time we have set aside each month to share together. Outside, listening to crickets, feeling the gentle breeze, cooler this time of year at night, so it feels good to be outside, just the four of us strengthening these relationships under the moon. As the boys get older they do more and more things on their own, so I especially cherish this time of reconnection.

I have been thinking about my mom today....a lot. She died just after I had turned 29. Car crash, instant death. Jackson and I were living in Germany with one son at the time. It was such a shock. But now over 10 years later and it isn't any easier than the day she died. I don't think it will ever get easier. I don't believe the old adage "time heals all wounds"....not at all. There was something about that relationship that is different than any other relationship I have. Something about the history we shared. I have great relationships with my husband and my children, and friends. But still not the same. I feel love all around me, but not that love. There is still a huge hole in my heart. I have great memories that I share with my boys. But nothing seems to fill that hole. I understand it is part of life, and I am not saying I would change anything, but I miss her, each and every day. I am not sad each and every day, but I miss her each and every day.

Miss calling her and discussing things woman to woman, with the understanding that she knows me so I don't have to explain every little thing. Miss having her tell me "it's going to be OK" and really meaning it, knowing she would do anything in her power to make sure it was "all right" for me. There are so many thoughts swirling around in my head. Just missing her in general. 12 years 1 month and 25 days.

Maybe tonight with the full moon I will make a special point to think about her.

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than 10,000 tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. ~ Washington Irving

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Tired

Right now I am too tired. Too tired to type up the grand post that a "first post" of a new blog deserves. I am grateful to have it started, starting this blog has been a step I have been pondering for so long. A place to write my thoughts, yes public, I know maybe not so smart, we will see. Hoping that this encourages me to do the thinking, work, pondering my life is craving right now. So this, a first step of many, a baby step maybe, but a long time comin'. Not fancy, not complicated, it is what it is, a reflection of me.