I jumped up out of bed, the boys were still sleeping, Jackson had gone to work and the house was so quiet and I felt so alone. I immediately got online to see if anyone was there to talk to, but none of my friends were online yet. So I sat there, kind of frozen, waiting for the fading to take place, you know when dreams fade away to only a vague memory.
FINALLY a few minutes later Teresa popped up online. I was so grateful she was not too busy to check her e mail this morning. So I IMed with her and felt better. Just talking about nothing really. But the dream was so vivid and left me feeling so alone.
I can make guesses at what the dream meant. But don't know for sure. I wish my mom would come out in a dream and just tell me what I am supposed to be learning from all of this. Why it is so important for me to keep feeling this loss. I have mentioned in posting before that I feel like it is a hole in my heart forever. Oh I don't dwell in the loss. I remember the happier times, and share things with my boys so they will know their grandparents. And in a day or so I won't even remember that this dream happened, until another dream pops up in a few months.
Anyway it does make me very thankful for good friends.
Here is a picture of my brother, my mom, and I from 1973!